Think of a memorable holiday memory and write it down.
I recently read a story that John McCain wrote about one of his Christmases as a prisoner of war. Reading it took me back to the time of the war with Vietnam. I could feel his pain and isolation and yet the story left me with hope. It was a hope that trancended war and that particular time and became a Christmas message for the future.

While most of us don't have quite as a dramatic story as his shared Christmas story, we all have something worthy of sharing about the holidays. Despite the year, circumstances, environment, or type of celebration or lack of celebration, the emotions will trancend the differences.
Writing may give someone future hope.

Memoir writing aids

Here are a few questions that may help stimulate your writing.
What jokes and stories were told?
What principles were taught?
What were some family sayings, (Waste not want not)
What values would you want to will the future?

Character Development

The reader should be able to picture what your characters looked like and how they sounded. What was unique about the things they said or the way they said them? Were there favorite sayings? Were there things they always did that could be identified with them?

Time Travel

Today, take a trip to a restaurant or mall. Be a people watcher and then write a description of someone you have watched. Transfer one of the people from your memoir into today's scene. Put them in the current place and circumstances. What would that character do and say? What would be his mannerisms and actions? Now take that information and use it in your memoir to enhance your character as he appears in your memoir.

Intended audience

How many generations or family members are you going to write about?
Who is your intended audience ie., your immediate family, extended family, general public?

To Help Stimulate Your Writing

What do you feel is an important lesson to be passed on to future generations?
What challenge were you most proud of overcoming?
Who are the people who have had an influence on you?
Describe a disadvantaged situation and the results.
Share some insight that led you to make a change in your life.

Jot sketchy notes about the most important factors in shaping your life.
Keep the list short. Other not so important factors can possibly be used later.

Photographs Save Memories and Details

Look at photo albums Photo albums can jog your memory about times that may have been forgotten. They can also be a source that provides historical facts. Photos can provide impetus to search for more information in order to present a more complete story. For example, a photo of two women and men standing with suitcases might initiate a story of where they were going, how they were getting there and why they were going. Was it for a honeymoon, a vacation, or a goodbye for someone leaving for military obligation? What clues does the photo offer? How are they dressed? What is in the background? What clues does the history of the time offer? Can you date the cars in the background? What buildings can you see? What period of dress or furniture is apparent? While a particular photograph's story might not fit into the story you are telling, it can provide the historical backdrop to understand the times. It may also help you look more critically at the verbal images you have created to see if your memoir is presenting the mental images that a photo presents.

Details

Clearly define what it is you are writing about…. Don’t assume future generations will know. Don't assume your current readers will know. If you write, "Dad put a tape into the Beta player," current readers as well as future readers may have to guess what that means. Just think how much technology has changed in the last several years; beta, vhs and dvd's. Along the lines of defining and clarifying, be sure to describe. For example, describe what your daughter looked like going to the prom. Describing her hairdo or the dress gives the reader a picture in his mind, but it also gives future generations a picture of the fashions during the time the story occurred.

The Characters in My Life

A memoir is a journey into humanity. It allows the reader to feel the emotions and activities of a particular time with those who shared the journey with you. It makes evident the connections you had with people on the journey. Did they inspire you, anger you, love you, rescue you, or teach you? Who did you admire? How did they impact your life? Was their influence felt at different times? Writing about others develops the story but one primary set of characters centers the story.

The Significance

When you are writing about a specific incident it is helpful to ask, "What is significant about this?" Asking the question can help the writing stay focused

Uniqueness and Commonality

Just as you are unique, so is your story. You own your story and it should be told by you in the first person. Not, "Etta went down the road," but, "As I walked down the road."
We are all unique individuals and yet, we all experience similar emotions in life; sadness, happiness, heartbreak, regret, pride, etc. Your written response to your experience is what readers can identify with and additionally, may gain insights from reading the story. You, too, can learn from reflecting on your life story. It can make you look deeper at things you’ve always thought were your story. Digging deeper makes the story just different enough to have a new perception of "you" emerge.

Let's Improve the Statistics

Less than one person in ten writes even one page of his life.

Correspond With The Past

Write an imaginary letter to someone who is no longer around. Answer it back. or use it to provide the details to writing already started.

I'm so........ He's so......

Don’t write with an agenda. Don’t write how you want to be perceived. Write so your personality is apparent to the reader. The same goes for characters in your story. Write so their personalities are identifiable to the reader. Don't say, "He had a heart of gold." Instead tell of a some instances where the character was giving and unselfish. Come up with a list of words that describe you and the other characters in your memoir. Does your story show these characteristics?

The Times of My Life

Today, I'm providing some more writing "helps" when the thoughts for your writings become muttled, or worse yet, absent.

• List some of the most prominent national events that happened during your lifetime.
• List some prominent local events that you experienced.
• Note events of a particular era that you are centering your writing.
• Write some important personal events in your life. What was going on nationally and locally at that time?

Some Thoughts to Stimulate Memories

Here are some sentences to complete that might stimulate memories.
My life changed when…..
I remember the time I needed help and.....
I overcame an obstacle when......
I felt successful when...
Things began to change for me when....
I saw the world differently after......
I found great peace from.....
I regret the time that.......

Look at Objects to Stimulate Ideas

A jacket I own always evokes memories of church. The first time I wore it I was helping at church. A friend said, “That’s a nice jacket. Is it new?” I said, “Thanks. Yes, it’s new.” She, then, reached over and grabbed under my arm.

I was astonished and confused that she was grabbing my armpit. Actually, she was grabbing for the price tag that I forgot to remove. Looking at objects will sometimes stimulate memories and stories.

Make Today a Someday

How often have you heard, "Someday I am going to write down the stories Mom told me." "Someday, I'll write those war stories Dad told me." Problem is that if "someday" comes, it is often too late to ask people details about the stories. Often, "someday" never does come along and the stories are lost for future generations. To make "someday" happen, decide what time you have to give to writing memoirs on a weekly basis. Set aside that time weekly and be consistent in using it to write. It doesn't matter how small a time frame it is. The point is to get something written regularly. If you break writing the memoir down into small chunks of time, it will not be such a daunting task. Writing in chunks also has another benefit. Writing in chunks and putting it away allows you to go back and read several of them at a later time. It is likely that reading what you wrote with time lapsing, you will see a focus for future writings.

From the Heart

Writing your memoir is writing a story of your heart.

Don't Can the Words.

Memories surface at the most unexpected times and places. After my husband died, I remember walking past the soup display in the grocery store aisle. My eyes caught a glimpse of a can of pea soup and I thought, "John loved pea soup." Next thing, I was putting on sunglasses to hide my tears. If I was writing a memoir of my husband John, I would have found the first opportunity to jot down the words pea soup so I could use that in a written memoir. Keep pen and paper near your bed, in your car, near the t.v., etc. and be ready to jot down words that can give your memoirs guidance.

Write, Write, Write

Don’t wait for the perfect idea. Write.
Write what you remember and then write what you don’t remember about the person or event. Writing what you don't remember often clarifies what you do remember. Often, it helps you to provide details. Saying something like, "I remember there were riots, but I don't remember why." Then you can explore the why to give depth and meaning to the story.

A Loving Point of View

While our lives differ, what will makes others want to read your story is the commonality of the story. We can all identify with struggles, hopes, illness, happiness, jealousy, disappointments, triumphs, etc. Share these commonalities while writing out of love. Not all chapters will be pleasant, but a story told out of love will make all other commonalities believable and meaningful. To me, writing a memoir is an act of love. As an author you want to share and preserve something meaningful to readers. To tell a story from any other point of view doesn't make sense.

What Emotion Does the Story Tell?

The way you chose to tell the story will determine what emotions the reader feels. Writing, "with her hands on her hip and her chin pointing in the air, she verbally attacked my comment as she turned her back to me", might elicit a reader's dislike of the character. Writing, "she didn't look me in the eye and turned away muttering what I think was her disagreement with my comment," will elicit an entirely different emotion from the reader. Be careful to identify what emotion the reader needs to feel in order to capture the essence of the story.

Does It Smell?

When you are reviewing the earlier written vignette, ask yourself some questions. Can I visualize the person or the place? Can I hear the sounds and voices? Can I feel the objects or the emotions? Can I smell the scent of the room, the person, the flowers, or the food? You get the idea. In the memoir, Looking Through You, author Jennifer Finney Boylan writes, "She blew a smoke ring towards the ceiling." Can't you just see that smoke migrating? It makes a visual picture that is more effective than saying, "She was a smoker." Look for ways to allow the reader to use his senses.

Just Write

Select a vivid memory and write about it. Write everything that comes to your mind. Don't worry about grammar or even the coordination of thoughts. Just be concerned with getting this memory on paper. Then put the writing away for a minimum of a week. In the meantime, you can write another memory on another day. Continue doing this. When at least a week since writing the memory has passed, (longer is good) bring it out and read what you wrote. It's likely that new thoughts about the event will surface. You can also work on polishing the grammar and sentence structure a bit to give it a story feel, rather than random thoughts about the subject.

It's Your Memoir

Even if your memoir is not going to include older family members, it is sometimes helpful to do a little research or accumulation of facts and stories. It can give you a better idea of who you are. Asking relatives about a specific time and event that will likely be a part of your memoir is helpful, but remember, it is still your story. No one is going to remember things exactly as you. Others' input will help you to set the tone, fill in the blanks, provide background and so forth. However, it is your memoir and tell it as you remember it. Tell those things that are important to you in your way of telling the story. The important thing is to tell it with your integrity and accuracy. If other family members see it differently, they can write their memoir.

Get The Story Straight

This week my sister and I were talking about the story behind each of our names. Turns out my Dad told her a story about her name that was the same story that my mom told me about my name. Someone was wrong! We both couldn’t have identical stories. Dad died, but Mom is still living, so we picked up the phone and asked her a lot of questions.
We solved the mystery.

Realistically, this confusion would not have mattered much to future generations, but it mattered to us as part of our personal history. What is important about this story is to ask questions of family members and friends while they are still able to provide information that the reader will want to know. So many times, I hear, “ I wished I had asked that before he died.”

Once you start writing your memoir, you will find many questions to ask. It’s not enough to take the same story you’ve heard repeatedly and put it down in your own words. It is necessary to tell it with fresh eyes. Look at the story and ask questions about it as if you’ve never heard it before. View it as if you were a reporter trying to get the details.
More on getting details in future blogs.

Read a Memoir, Write a Memoir

Before continuing with the various aspects of writing a memoir, it might be helpful for you to read a few while contemplating writing your own. You might enjoy the ones listed below. Have fun exploring others.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls: This memoir acquaints the reader with the author’s dysfunctional family. It is a story of family survival despite parental mental illness and alcoholism.

Eighty Acres, by Ronald Jager: This memoir depicts life on the author’s eighty acre farm around the time of World War II.

Growing Up, by Russell Baker: A Pulitzer Prize winning memoir about the author’s life growing up during the depression with his single mother.

Find a Focus

It may be confusing to think of a focus for your memoir. One way of finding a focus is to begin making a list of family members, places you’ve lived, successes, work experiences, trips, great joys, heartaches and sorrows, people who have had an impact on your life, etc. When compiling the list, jot down a few lines about the subjects. As future thoughts come to you, add to the list. Think about the stories family memories have relayed to you over the years and write those down. Look at family photo albums , family heirlooms, or keepsakes. Don't forget to add to the list those family stories you've heard and revere. You may see a pattern of events or people that you seem passionate about detailing. With enough of these jottings, you’ll begin to see a pattern forming for an area of focus.

What's the Purpose of Your Memoir?

Determine the purpose of the memoir; what you want the reader to know. Also, will it be for your family use, to share at a specific event, for general publication, etc.?
For example, Heaven Help Mom was written for general publication. Its purpose was to share with readers Biblical lessons my children taught me and to inspire the readers to look for the daily lessons that children unknowingly teach adults.

Memoir Defined

A memoir concentrates on a specific period of time or related events.
Heaven Help Mom concentrates on the years when my children were growing up. It also was written from the perspective of related events. All the stories told were about daily events in which my children taught me a lesson.

Worry

Worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.
Glenn Turner (broadway actor)

Background

Here's another excerpt from my book, Heaven Help Mom. The story talks about how in a confined car my son goes from extremely busy to extremely peaceful. I don't understand why.

" I totally overlooked the obvious explanation for his peacefulness. I didn't even realize it was raining. To him, God's creation was perplexing, enjoyable and quieting. To me, God's craft had become part of the background in life that was easy to overlook. Creation is indeed perplexing and given to us to respect and enjoy, not to be ignored. As I followed the raindrops on the window, I found that it is very peaceful to reflect on the magnitude of God's creation."

Listen to bookbitesforkids

I will appear Monday, January 7, 2008 at 2pm central time on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bookbitesforkids I'll talk about my book Heaven Help Mom and Maybe the Kids Will Help

Noises in Life

Christmas is past and also past is a December family wedding. Now, it is back to posting regularly on Mondays and Wednesdays. To make up for my omissions last week, I'm posting today and will be back on schedule Monday.
The recent wedding meant sharing time with out of town friends and relatives. When we all gathered together, there was lots of fun and lots of noise. When little ones were present there was often loud crying as well as noises of glee. The time together made me realize my life as a writer is a quiet one. While sometimes I welcomed the change from the peacefulness, there were times when it was challenging. It made me think of a story from my book, Heaven Help Mom.
The story relays how two children view the noises in their lives very differently and the message learned was; "our life is often the product of the way we view it and chose to live it. A life centered in God can turn a devastating situation into a challenging proposition; a situation of fear into a positive approach; an episode of loneliness into an outreach to others." May the variety of noises in your life contribute to produce a symphony.