Just Write

Select a vivid memory and write about it. Write everything that comes to your mind. Don't worry about grammar or even the coordination of thoughts. Just be concerned with getting this memory on paper. Then put the writing away for a minimum of a week. In the meantime, you can write another memory on another day. Continue doing this. When at least a week since writing the memory has passed, (longer is good) bring it out and read what you wrote. It's likely that new thoughts about the event will surface. You can also work on polishing the grammar and sentence structure a bit to give it a story feel, rather than random thoughts about the subject.

It's Your Memoir

Even if your memoir is not going to include older family members, it is sometimes helpful to do a little research or accumulation of facts and stories. It can give you a better idea of who you are. Asking relatives about a specific time and event that will likely be a part of your memoir is helpful, but remember, it is still your story. No one is going to remember things exactly as you. Others' input will help you to set the tone, fill in the blanks, provide background and so forth. However, it is your memoir and tell it as you remember it. Tell those things that are important to you in your way of telling the story. The important thing is to tell it with your integrity and accuracy. If other family members see it differently, they can write their memoir.

Get The Story Straight

This week my sister and I were talking about the story behind each of our names. Turns out my Dad told her a story about her name that was the same story that my mom told me about my name. Someone was wrong! We both couldn’t have identical stories. Dad died, but Mom is still living, so we picked up the phone and asked her a lot of questions.
We solved the mystery.

Realistically, this confusion would not have mattered much to future generations, but it mattered to us as part of our personal history. What is important about this story is to ask questions of family members and friends while they are still able to provide information that the reader will want to know. So many times, I hear, “ I wished I had asked that before he died.”

Once you start writing your memoir, you will find many questions to ask. It’s not enough to take the same story you’ve heard repeatedly and put it down in your own words. It is necessary to tell it with fresh eyes. Look at the story and ask questions about it as if you’ve never heard it before. View it as if you were a reporter trying to get the details.
More on getting details in future blogs.

Read a Memoir, Write a Memoir

Before continuing with the various aspects of writing a memoir, it might be helpful for you to read a few while contemplating writing your own. You might enjoy the ones listed below. Have fun exploring others.

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls: This memoir acquaints the reader with the author’s dysfunctional family. It is a story of family survival despite parental mental illness and alcoholism.

Eighty Acres, by Ronald Jager: This memoir depicts life on the author’s eighty acre farm around the time of World War II.

Growing Up, by Russell Baker: A Pulitzer Prize winning memoir about the author’s life growing up during the depression with his single mother.

Find a Focus

It may be confusing to think of a focus for your memoir. One way of finding a focus is to begin making a list of family members, places you’ve lived, successes, work experiences, trips, great joys, heartaches and sorrows, people who have had an impact on your life, etc. When compiling the list, jot down a few lines about the subjects. As future thoughts come to you, add to the list. Think about the stories family memories have relayed to you over the years and write those down. Look at family photo albums , family heirlooms, or keepsakes. Don't forget to add to the list those family stories you've heard and revere. You may see a pattern of events or people that you seem passionate about detailing. With enough of these jottings, you’ll begin to see a pattern forming for an area of focus.

What's the Purpose of Your Memoir?

Determine the purpose of the memoir; what you want the reader to know. Also, will it be for your family use, to share at a specific event, for general publication, etc.?
For example, Heaven Help Mom was written for general publication. Its purpose was to share with readers Biblical lessons my children taught me and to inspire the readers to look for the daily lessons that children unknowingly teach adults.

Memoir Defined

A memoir concentrates on a specific period of time or related events.
Heaven Help Mom concentrates on the years when my children were growing up. It also was written from the perspective of related events. All the stories told were about daily events in which my children taught me a lesson.